2 Signs You're Still Living as a Boy
002 // 2 Signs You are Still Living as a BoyThe truth is, many of us did not have fathers who taught us how to abandon our youthful ways and embrace the virtues and challenges of becoming a man. So we find ourselves in adulthood unknowingly still living with our old boyish ways. Our lack of intentional fathers, combined with the fact that our culture celebrates and encourages boyish behavior in men, means that if we don't proactively cultivate a better way, we will default into remaining a boy. Here are 2 signs you are still living as a boy. 1. You get easily frustrated when something is difficult. The life of a boy is a life of ease. Boys are shielded from anything that would cause harm or resistance. This is good and critical for safe upbringing. When faced with difficulty, a boy will quickly get agitated, avoid, and run to comfort. Becoming a man means moving through resistance and embracing difficulty. A man embraces difficulty because he understands it's the price of admission to gain anything of value. He views difficulty as a sign that he's on the right path. It everything were easy, this would be a signal there is nothing in his life worth fighting for. This requires intention practice. The more you can put yourself into challenging situations, the faster you develop this muscle and the more you can accomplish. Tell the truth. Have that challenging conversation. Run an extra mile. Do an extra set. Double down on the challenging work in your business that moves the needle. The most valuable things in life are found where you least want to look. A boy lives for the pleasure of the moment. Everything is play. The world revolves around what he wants to do. It's all fun and no responsibility. In today's consumption driven culture, this behavior carries straight into adulthood. Most men live for the moment in their day when they can "check out" and dive into their escapism of choice: social media, tv shows, video games, etc. Becoming a man means abandoning an entertainment centered life to pick up responsibility and pursue purpose. Men are builders, not consumers. Men are at their best when they are working on things, chasing down goals, and taking ground. They have a bigger view of life past their immediate desires. They take responsibility and make sacrifices for a higher purpose. This instills a deep satisfaction and meaning in their days. They couldn't imagine settling for anything less. As you pursue these shifts, I want to say this to you: Don't underestimate the impact of your life. You have innate gifts and insight. Stop consuming, start creating. Speak soon. VM __ If you were forwarded this email and want to receive future newsletters, sign up here |
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VITAL MAN
The biggest problem with how we understand manhood is this: We focus on the image of a man instead of the substance. Image is the cowboy, CEO, body-builder, athlete, soldier, etc. It's understandable. These are images we can quickly and easily identify with (or not). Image is what a man does.Substance is who a man is. Image is shallow work.Substance is deep inner work (foreign territory for most men). Let’s unpack this through one of the most famous heroic stories in all of literature: David...
Samson is a picture of the modern masculine archetype. A man who left the mundane life of his home town and journeyed exotic lands, battled wild beasts, romanced women, and drank deeply in rich cultural experiences. Samson Fountain / Peterhof State Museum-Reserve And yet his life ended in ruin. Samson's story serves as a great warning to us as men in the area of calling and the pursuit of adventure. We must pay attention. Let's dive in. The Set Up: The Allure of Culture Samson was born during...
Last week we spoke about the original sin of man: passivity. If you missed it, read it here. The antidote to passivity is intentionality. 3 Step Framework for Becoming an Intentional Man. 1) Identify Your Areas of Responsibility We all have them. Question is: how are they doing under your care? Work, marriage, health, creative work, spiritual life, relationships, etc. List them out and figure out where you need to turn up the intentionality. 2) Write The Vision Intention = first vision, then...